Things I have Learnt (Part 1)

As a mum, I have learnt a whole lot - some interesting, some weird, some downright horrifying. Here is a list of some of the things I have learnt from being a mother of a new born and a toddler. If you don't have kids yet, there are things you can look forward to, if you do have kids, you may be able to relate.

• As long as there is a child about, your house will never be truly clean
• An infant can vomit more than a grown man, given the correct circumstances
• Some kids who will scream, spit and fight their way through every spoonful of a lovingly prepared gourmet meal will happily drink vast quantities of bathwater, including soap and their own urine.
• Kids can drink a surprising amount of aforementioned bathwater and suffer no ill effects.
• The best bath toys are empty shampoo bottles.
• Some days, you worry because your child has picked at this and nibbled at that but hardly eaten anything. Other days, you become genuinely concerned that he/she may explode if they were to consume another mouthful.
• Soggy nutrigrain cereal is almost indistinguishable from toddler poop.
• A large assortment of objects can pass through a toddler's digestive system without damaging the item or the child. These items include, but are not limited to: beach sand, glitter, coins (both real and play money), small toys, christmas beetles, tinsel and beads
• The first time your baby giggles will sound like angels singing
• You will never believe you could love anything or anyone as much as you love your baby, until you have another baby
• Leaving the house with children in tow often takes military level organisation.
• Your friends who don't have kids won’t understand your actions most of the time.
• A good night’s sleep is very very important.
• A mother's work is never done