Monday, February 21, 2011

Things I have Learnt (Part 1)

As a mum I have learnt a whole lot - some interesting, some weird, some downright horrifying. Here is a list of some of the things I have learnt from being a mother of a new born and a toddler. If you don't have kids yet, there are things you can look forward to, if you do have kids, you may be able to relate.

  • As long as there is a child about, your house will never be truely clean
  • An infant can vomit more than a grown man, given the correct circumstances
  • Some kids who will scream, spit and fight their way through every spoonful of a loveingly prepared gormet meal will happily drink vast quantities of bathwater, including soap and their own urine.
  • Kids can drink a surprising amount of afformentioned bathwater and suffer no ill effects.
  • The best bath toys are empty shampoo bottles.
  • Some days, you worry because your child has picked at this and nibbled at that but hardly eaten anything. Other days, you become genuinely concerned that he/she may explode if they were to consume another mouthful.
  • Soggy nutrigrain cereal is almost indistinguishable from toddler poop.
  • A large assortment of objects can pass through a toddler's digestive system without damaging the item or the child. These items include, but are not limited to: beach sand, glitter, coins (both real and play money), small toys, christmas beetles, tinsel and beads
  • The first time your baby giggles will sound like angels singing
  • You will never believe could love anything or anyone as much as you love your baby, until you have another baby
  • Going out often takes military level organisation.
  • Your friends who don't have kids wont understand your actions most of the time.
  • A good nights sleep is very very important.
  • A mother's work is never done